This post is on handling your people perceptions (or how to avoid being rubbed up the wrong way!)


So I’m sure we all have friends and family members that we simply gel with brilliantly, and then there are ones where things are good most of the time. However, are there people in your life that you have to spend time with periodically where, in spite of your best intentions, there is a clash? Believe me, I can relate to this. And I’m pretty sure they feel the same way about me.


One of the things I’ve worked out over the years is that changing our perception around the person concerned can also re-shape the responses that have become automatic.


What worked for me was to decide that I could choose to be annoyed/irritated by the person (and therefore the person is always a trigger for that response), or I could choose to separate the person from the behaviour that would trigger the response. I could then choose to learn something about myself by reflecting on what it was in that behaviour that was getting “up my nose” or “under my skin”. It became a matter of choice.


Future meetings with those people meant I was less trigger-prone and more mindful of my own space and emotional state when dealing with them. The result? Get togethers were less frought, I was more patient and compassionate, and I could remain calm in my own space. The result for them too was a much more pleasant interaction, and gradually, relationships became genuinely cordial, rather than simply “applied courtesy” with underlying tension.


Maybe you can try this…